Em's View

Ro•mance (-n) a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention

Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece – Lisa Simpson

When I was a little girl I, like most little girls, lived in a world where fairies existed, where being a princess was my sole ambition (and if I was really lucky, I was not going to be just your average, run-of-the-mill princess, I was going to be a FAIRY-princess) and where getting married was the single most romantic thing that could ever happen to anyone, EVER. After all, everyone (well, Princesses Ariel, Belle, Aurora…) went on to live Happily Ever After once they were married and I could only imagine that meant nothing less than total bliss every day, forevermore.

My visions were shattered into a soggy heap two days after Den proposed to me. The proposal was the single most romantic day of my life and ‘THIS is it!’ I thought! The beginning of Happily Ever After! Surely our entire life was about to become smooth sailing. I positively glowed from the sheer thought that I was GETTING MARRIED and this was my romantic fairytale come true…

Within 48 hours, my glow had paled back to plain-old-mortal status. Den was sick on the couch with a doona, staring at the TV, and feeling so sorry for himself that he couldn’t pay me any attention. There was no army of talking mice and singing birds cleaning my apartment for me, we hadn’t yet consummated the engagement at all and there was not even a ring on my finger to remind me that this was all real and not just a dream… I fell to pieces and was sobbing uncontrollably. All my childhood visions of Happily Ever After weren’t real at all! I felt betrayed by the entire Disney Enterprise.

Poor Den was not really sure what to do with this sobbing wreck of a fiancée who couldn’t really explain herself… and I’m sure he was starting to wonder what he was getting himself in for. Frankly, I think more than anything he was quite taken aback that the whole proposing thing hadn’t gotten him the ten months or so of brownie points that he felt he deserved.

Since then, I have had to adjust my views on Romance to be a little more realistic. Turns out in this day and age, Happily Ever After is not so much in fashion. So, my new definition of Romance: That between couples which is playful, thoughtful and touching.

Basically, we boil it down to lots of sh*ts and giggles, and always looking out for each other (chivalry cuts both ways these days!).

In terms of a weekly date night, our philosophy is simple: keep each other laughing. We don’t want our date nights to be too serious, nor a big rose-filled, sweeping-gestured production. Some of the date ideas in the generator are just so cheesy that it makes us laugh… and to be honest, some of them we wouldn’t even do ourselves! But others might, and we love that variety. The point is that we are doing something together every week together, for the benefit of our relationship. The very fact that we have put our relationship first for just one night a week is the romantic part.

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should the repertoire of Romantic Things should ever include:

1. Staring into each other’s eyes for an hour at sunset (oh yes, I actually saw this in a list of “Top 20 Romantic Things to do with your Partner”)

2. Public displays of affection (you know, the face-eating, sticking-your-tongue-down-your-partner’s-throat kind)

3. Baby-talking at each other (particularly heinous when done in the company of others)

The repertoire of Romantic Things can and should sometimes include these completely cheesy but still lovely things:

1. Red roses

2. Sunrises

3. Walking hand-in-hand

So, what do you think? Do you think we need a new definition of romance for the cynical millennium, where frogs don’t turn into princes and guys don’t hold open the door? What else can we add to the lists above to help us readjust our expectations of Modern Romance?

Tags: Is Romance Dead, Romance