Married Life
Domestic Goddess, I Am Not
Forgive me for saying this (and hear me out, please, before you start with any hate comments!) but (oppression aside) I’ve always loved the image of the 50s housewife… a capable, industrious woman who took the running of her household into hand and knew that having a harmonious family life was just as important as her husband’s career. These women turned domestic chores into an art. A well-kept home was the sign of a successful family. But, unfortunately, the art of domesticity is slowly dying out.
I don’t clean unless under duress. I cook… when I feel like it. I can’t knit and if I need a sock mended, I throw it out and buy a new pair. I can’t even sew a freakin’ button back onto a shirt! I have no idea how to remove stains from clothing or furniture (turn over the cushion, maybe?) and instead of baking cakes, I buy them in from David Jones Food Hall.
And yet…
And yet I would love to be competent in all these areas. My mother is a wonder! She is so house-proud, and rightly so! Every surface in that house is spotless, the woman can cook, knit, sew, embroider, bake and more…. And she not only can, she does! Somehow she finds the time and the will, after working all day, all week, to do all these things!
Am I missing a gene? Is everyone under a certain age like this? Did the art of it die out with the rise of feminism… were we all too busy getting degrees and careers to learn the basics of housekeeping?
And does it matter? Are we (as in, other non-domestic-goddesses) and our families missing some vital part of life by not having a well-run, organized home? Or am I just attaching to that image because that was what my childhood was like?
It’s fine for now, while I’m childless, but I pity my poor future children who, should things continue down this path, will not know where their readers are to take to school and may end up with a squishy orange and stale-bread-sandwich in their lunchbox because I never got around to the weekly shop and will constantly wear mismatching socks because the washing machine always seems to eat one!
Or do you automatically get the gene once you have children? I have no idea…
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Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.
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4 comments for “Domestic Goddess, I Am Not”
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i can do all the housewife things, and though i like the role of the housewife, i’m certainly glad i’m not a 50s housewife. thankfully i have the choice to bake the cake, or vacuum or wash the dishes. and a lot of the time i choose not to haha
i’ve always been domestic though, so i don’t know if it will kick in post-child for you. if anything i’ve gotten worse since having a child…! too busy playing to embroider his hankies!
A kindred spirit! I’ve also been wondering whether certain aspects of feminism (ie get out of the home!) are detrimental to women in the long run.
I have always been a feminist in that I believe in gender equality. When I was younger I rejected all domestic advice/training, believing I was going to ‘Have it all!’
Now I find myself with a home and family (which I love). Yet I feel unprepared for the role. I’m having to retrain. On top of that, I’ve had to come to terms with how to remain a feminist and take care of my home.
I think it’s an issue for many women raised post-feminism.
Bravo for daring to bring it up!
I wholeheartedly identify with you. I also am on the same page with Danielle.
My problem though… is I watch too much TV
Emma you’re an odd ball… mostly, living with you is easy – it’s the not giving your things a home that throws me.
Emma’s desk sits right next to a 4 drawer filing cabinet. She has been there for the past 2 years, and only recently I introduced the two to each other. Emma still does not file (and trust me, for her sake she should!)
And don’t get me started on pens… she’s already written a post about stealing my pens – alas I look into my pen holder and there are none there… again… grrr