We’ve waned from our usual Wednesday night date night, which means some weeks go by with us forgetting to schedule a date night… and while we’ve had lots of quality time spent together, that’s really not what it’s all about.

It’s served to really reinforce to us again that if you don’t have a schedule and structures in place, date night will never happen. It’s too easy for us to fall off the wagon and end up in front of the TV every night (the fact that Den gave me the entire Sex and the City Box Set for my birthday also hasn’t helped matters any!).

So.

We’re getting back on the date night horse. (It’s a fancy horse, too!) We’re recommitting to date night with each other again. And if you’ve forgotten all about your own date nights too, we recommend you do the same.

Remember the rules?

1. Pick a night every week.
That is your night together. Don’t schedule anything over the top of it. If you absolutely have to, then you can negotiate in advance with your partner to move it to another day for that week only.

Wednesday is our date night.

2. Take it in turns to organise.
It is no fun for one person to continually be the instigator of date night every time. If you’re stuck for ides, guess what? We’ve done the hard work for you. If you head to $30 Date Night and set up an account, you can even save a list of the date ideas you love the sound of so that you can refer to it when it’s your week to organise the date.

3. Mix it up.
Humans are creatures of habit. If you don’t consciously choose to do new, fun things with your partner every week then you will end up at the same favourite restaurants (think about how many times you go to the same place to eat out, or order takeaway from the same Thai food shop…) or doing the same, comfortable activities again and again.

You may love doing those things, but your relationship will not thank you for it. Remember, it’s been proven that doing new things together as a couple sparks the same hormones as when you first fell in love! Bring back the butterflies by doing something fresh and different every week!

And remember, it doesn’t matter if you have kids, or your budget is tight, there are ways around all those things and that is essentially what $30 Date Night is all about. Don’t make excuses. Don’t wiggle your way out of it. Just do it.

Who’s with us?

Related posts:

1. How Much Does Your Man Pay Attention?
2. A Week of Beauty on $30 Date Night
3. The Heart Grows Fonder

Yay / or Nay?

Does the dating world need a Daters Lemon Law?

Some friends of mine use internet dating sites to find their match… relatively unsuccessful to begin with but have created a strategy to work in their favour. For me it’s a curious world… in my single years, a friend pushed me to join their singles speed dating meet ups but I just couldn’t find the courage to do it.

Dating for singles is big business and creates a lot of interest – makes sense… we all want to be loved and feel love.

So I’m told successful dating through the internet is a game of numbers… the more people you meet the better chance that you’ll find a match – same theory with speed dating. Cover as many first impressions as you can and then find the one that flicks your switch.

But what happens when the bells and whistles of the profile don’t come out on the first date – can you Lemon Law them? To understand the Dater’s Lemon Law – Barney explains it well.

So singles / daters… Does the dating world need a Lemon Law – Yay or Nay?

Related posts:

1. Melbourne Daters: Something Special for You!
2. Alphabet Dating
3. mX Column: The Etiquette of Dating

Quite literally speaking, when you do something new and exciting, your brain’s reward system will be flooded with dopamine and norepinephrine – the same chemicals that give you butterflies (and cause addiction, funnily enough!).

So for long term couples who haven’t felt those nervous butterflies in quite awhile, here are five ways you and your sweetheart can reclaim the fuzzy, head-over-heels feelings – together!

1. Learn a new skill
This could be something as simple as learning to juggle, learning to play an instrument, having a go on a trapeze, ice skating… or as complex as a short language course or dance lessons! Find something you’ll both enjoy doing together and reap the benefits of the love hormones along with a new talent!

2. Go to a new restaurant
Always going out to dinner at the same old familiar restaurants? Branch out! Whether it be a new establishment you go to, or a totally new cuisine to try, breaking routine and seeking out new places is a great way to expand your horizons and top up your dopamine! Get as niche as you can… have a look for a local restaurant and have fun! Here are some suggestions for great cuisines to try out. Surely you haven’t done ALL of them?

• French
• African
• Nepalese
• Indian
• Thai (Dine on floor cushions!)
• Vietnamese
• Malaysian
• Croatian
• Polish
• Mexican
• Swiss
• Peruvian
• Japanese
• Greek
• Lebanese
• Spanish
• Turkish
• Modern Australian (yes, kangaroo!)
• Molecular Gastronomy (bacon and egg ice cream, anyone?)
• Indonesian

3. Try something new in the bedroom
Got to spice things up every now and then! Try introducing something new to your boudoir routine… a sexy striptease, handcuffs, a longtime fantasy, costumes, a board game, toys, a new Kama Sutra position, fruit and chocolate…. The list goes on! Plenty of suggestions to be found on the internet for you! Be sure to talk it through with your partner first and make sure you’re both comfortable with the scenario…

4. Do something you’ve never done!
The movies tend to be a stock-standard coupledom activity… what about a night on the town with a bit of a twist? When was the last time you took in some theatre, opera or a symphony? A musical? A burlesque show or a live band? Have a look at your town’s local gig guide and see what’s coming up that may interest you both.

5. Explore new places!
Take a mini-break or a weekend away somewhere you’ve never been before. Even just driving a new route will wake up your brain! Wineries, beach houses, the snow, a farmstay, a cottage… getting away from everything that is familiar is a breath of fresh air for both of you…. And staying a few nights in a new environment won’t hurt either!

Related posts:

1. 6 Other Ways You Can Hang Out With Your Sweetie
2. 5 Goals You Can Work Towards Together as a Couple
3. Are You and Your Sweetie Speaking the Same Love Language?

The thing is, we love date night so much that we instantly thought others would too! But the truth is, our friends haven’t really jumped on the date night train… While they love the idea of OUR date nights, they never really start their own, and we hear a lot of excuses about why. So here are the top five reasons NOT to do date night. Sound familiar?

1. We have no time, we’re too tired, we’re too busy.
Whoa, what? You are too busy to dedicate a few measly hours a week to your relationship? Riiiiight. So, you’ll spend 50-odd hours (PLUS) at work, then get home and bring your freakin’ Blackberry, iPhone or laptop with you to cram in a few more hours of work and Facebooking between eating and sleeping… you’ll probably catch up with friends, together or separately, you’ll probably sit on your butt and watch television for hours on end together but you won’t take a night off once a week to spend with the one person you love most in the world? Priorities, people. You need to put SOME sort of effort in. Relationships are not all automatically Happily Ever After. They require work.

2. My relationship is fine. I don’t need your stupid date night strategy.
Why do we all think we should wait until our relationship has fallen to pieces before implementing something that will fix it? It shouldn’t have to get to that. This is your insurance policy, guys. This is a way to help from getting to rock-bottom at all… and why settle for “fine” when you can have AMAZING?

3. Dude, you keep using the words STRATEGY and IMPLEMENT. This isn’t a business plan.
Maybe it should be. Maybe setting goals in your relationship is not such a bad thing. A small, little weekly goal to spend some time together that you can achieve and feel like you did something worthwhile with each other! Maybe is we paid as much attention to our relationships as we do to our careers then the world would be a happier, more loved up place.

4. Right, this is all well and good for you young people, but we have children. You have no rebuttal for children. Date night is impossible when you have children.
Harder? Yes. Impossible? That’s a dirty word and you know it. First of all, if you must, then make date night a fortnightly thing. Secondly, there are PLENTY of good date ideas in our generator that can be done at home, once the kids are in bed. Yes, you might be exhausted by that time but I can’t stress enough how much the two of you still need to interact as a couple without the influence of the children. Make the effort, and you will feel more energetic and inspired for it. Get out of the house once a month on a date night together if you can manage it, and the rest of the time, do things together at home…. in fact, here’s a post I wrote just for you on 10 Great At Home Date Ideas for Parents

5. My husband would never do it. He doesn’t know how to be romantic.
(Sorry guys, I know this sounds sexist but I do hear this one a lot. Feel free to crack the stereotype for me.)
Admit it, you love being right about him being bad at the whole romance thing. First of all, give him a chance before you write it off altogether. Secondly, a retarded monkey could use the date generator, it’s really not that hard. Set out the parameters. Tell him that every week is date night. Tell him that every other week is HIS turn to organise it. Then give him the URL to www.thirtydollardatenight.com and tell him to get to it.

THE FOUR WEEK CHALLENGE
So, here’s what I propose. I’m sick of the excuses. I know you love date night. Everyone loves hearing about my date nights! Do it for one month. Just do it. Commit for FOUR WEEKS to do a weekly date night and take it in turns to use the bleeding generator to organise something. It is cheap (there are even FREE ideas in there for those that are in no position to spend $30) and it is easy and we know you’re going to love it.

FOUR WEEKS. That’s all I ask. Then come tell us about it. If you do love it, if you do notice a difference in your relationship, then pay it forward. Convince TWO other couples that they will love date night and send them on the same four week challenge. Just two.
There are so many services out there for single people, dating services, matchmaking… everyone is working to get people together. We’re working to KEEP people together. We need your help to do that.

Related posts:

1. Follow Their Lead: The Obamas Do Date Night!
2. How to Do Date Night Right
3. Top 8 Reasons Smart Girls Should Date Diggers Geeks

“Rules of Date Night”

For us… (as in Denis and Emma) date night is simple, keep it cheap and have some fun.

We do stick to some fundamental rules: here we go…

1. Do it weekly, and take it in turns!

   If Emma took me out on a date last week, then this week it’s my turn (and I really should stick to it).

   There are times where I cannot make it to a date night, or Emma cannot. We’re cool with this, as long as we reschedule the actual date to another night.

   There are times where I honestly cannot be arsed! It’s not that I don’t love Emma; it’s just that my mind may be elsewhere, for example there may be issues to deal with at work. Em’s always understands, she usually knows when I’m in a mood before date night comes around.

   But the important thing is to get back on the horse! Reschedule the date and stick to it… on the flip side, if work or life is getting on top of, date night can be a great way to distract you and reboot your brain.

2. Be open to the experience your partner is giving you.

   Date night CAN be lame, and it CAN be cheesy! We know this…

   Think of it this way… none of friends are there to see you, and the only person that you know (your partner) is doing the same thing as you. So if its cheesy go with it, you can’t be embarrassed at least you’ll be cheesy with your partner! It makes for a bigger laugh!

3. Shake it up!

   Trust us; even date night can become boring and routine! Shake it up a little… every few months, try something daring… something you wouldn’t normally do, and push your comfort circle. If you don’t like it, or it’s not working for you… take a back up date night plan.

   Emma and I tried the seedy pub “play pool” date, this first time we went the pub was a little too dodgy, we had a back up date just in case… $30 worth of dessert! Turned out to be a great night. Did the seedy pub play pool date another time!

4. Expectations

   We’ve found that expectations have been the biggest killer in relationships. Expectations are useful and purposeful, but can cause trouble relationships as it may lead to disappointment.

   Don’t let expectations kill your date night… its only $30. Whatever happens to the money shouldn’t matter, if the date didn’t work out the way you wanted it to, try again next month…

5. Don’t care what your friends / colleagues or peers say!

   The people around you always seem to have an opinion on the things that you are doing… (l know I’ve got no problem voicing my opinion, my friends will vouch for that!) When it comes to date night people’s reactions are interesting.

   When Emma and I first mentioned that we were doing date night, (long before the generator was created) many of our friends were surprised, thinking that the relationship was in trouble, as if only failed relationships require date night… Emma and I thought of date night differently.

   I noticed that couples do felt that their relationship is fine and doesn’t need additional attention or effort into it. And as for the singles out there, they are the harshest critics of them all.

   These days our friends simply expect Emma and I to be unreachable on Wednesday nights (our date night). We can see our friends look at us differently too, they look at us as a stable couple, you know… the couple that stays together.

   Do your thing how you want to… don’t worry about what others say, or don’t tell them. When we first started, we preached to all our friends, “its the bees knees! You’ve gotta do it! I don’t understand why you don’t do it?” Now, we’re like… “meh, do what you want, just let us know how it went if you do.” And life is easier.

6. Rules are meant to be broken!

   If you’re taking your partner out on a date, i.e. you’re spending the $30… and you want to spend more… why not? Do it!

   If you want to go on 2 dates in a row… screw it… do it!

Related posts:

1. The 5 Top Reasons NOT to do Date Night
2. A Week of Beauty on $30 Date Night
3. Getting Back on the Date Night Horse