$30 date night | Date Ideas, Marriage & Romance Blog » Dating

mX Column: Dating Games

Emma — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:16:47 +0000

Out with a group of girlfriends the other night, one sidled up to me when we were touching up our gloss in the bathroom.

“I just sent a text to my ex,” she confided.

“Do you think that was a mistake?”

Not just once. It turns out she had sent him two messages. Once to say “I’m at such-and-such bar.” Then again to say, “Sorry, sent that to the wrong person.”

Of course she hadn’t actually sent it to the wrong person. She just wanted him to know where she was but didn’t want him to know that she wanted him to know where she was.

Make sense?

Well it worked. He turned up and they went home together that night.

I shamefully confess that I have played a similar game.

I once got all dressed up on a Friday night, sure that this particular guy that I’d been seeing for awhile would call me for a drink or to hang out.

I didn’t want to be caught unawares so I went through the hair/make-up/outfit process only to find my phone silent.

So of course I did what any self-respecting girl would do. I rang him and trilled nonchalantly that a friend had stood me up last minute and I was quite literally all dressed up with nowhere to go.

We ended up catching up that night (score one, Team Emma!)

And he was oblivious to my little game.

Of course men say they hate women who play games, and yet have their own set of tricks.

It’s no wonder girls keep playing the games – we’re not supposed to call, we’re not supposed to chase, we’re not supposed to come on too strong.

Of course textual manipulation is just one of the ways around this.

There’s make-him-jealous moves, the silent treatment and the play-hard-to-get-tactic – all of which can blow up in a girl’s face.

But what’s really behind it? Are these little games the only way we can bait men without fear of outright rejection?

And is it at the expense of our own sanity? Surely no sane and balanced woman wants to feel like a crazy, manipulative witch?

The fact is, all that game playing can get downright exhausting – because, in fact, you’re driving yourself crazy.

Girls will self-destructively mull for hours over what a guy is possibly playing at. But guys are usually unaware they’re playing (or being played) at all.

It’s not that they all sit around thinking about footy scores but they’re certainly not dissecting every character in an SMS to find out “what it really means”.

Is it time to throw in the bat and ball and be adults, or are games still the only way to win?

mX Column: Blind Dates? Bad News.

Emma — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 11:09:06 +0000

Despite the Austen-like images my moniker may conjure, I’m not much of a matchmaker.

I don’t believe in the ‘set up’, and especially not since one of my best friends, N. sent me on a blind date.

On paper, it should have worked perfectly.

He was cute, fun and intelligent, as promised. He even had just the right amount of eccentricity to keep me interested (I love a bit of quirkiness… past flings of mine have included a Reiki practitioner and a macrobiotic vegan).

N. certainly had my type pinned. Why wouldn’t I take a recommendation from her?

We did click. We even had a pash at the back of a dark bar later that night. And then it started to get weird. We hadn’t even wrapped up the date when…

“I can’t wait to introduce you to my parents.” (Wait, what?)

“We’re going to be so happy together, we’re perfect for each other.”
(Sorry, I can’t hear you over the alarm bells in my head!)

And then, after I had escaped to what I thought was the safety of my own home, the phone calls started. Legions of them.

I was forced to have a break up conversation with a guy I had been on one date with. Not that that put a dent in his phone-stalking. An age later, he must have realized I hadn’t taken any of his calls for months, and they stopped. As for what I had to tell my friend about this “great guy” she’d set me up with… Awkward much?

Now, I know I’m not the only one with a story like this to tell. In fact, I couldn’t find a single happy set-up story (Do email me if you have one; we’re all dying to hear it.).

I heard tales of girls turning up at apartments late at night with no invitation after only one date, abusive phone calls, broken hearts and well-meaning matchmakers caught in the middle of it all.

My theory is that you should never set people up, because no matter how much you may adore your friends, you have no idea what your friends’ moral love codes are. They can’t necessarily be trusted when it comes to relationships.

I have seen some of my dearest, most wonderful friends turn to a quivering heap of hormones and emotions around a new love interest.

If you do find yourself caught in the middle of a friend that wants to set you up, you can first try diplomatically telling them you’re not interested.

If they’re insistent, try a group scenario rather than a one-on-one set up. Your friends will make a great buffer for the night and if you hit it off, then great! But if you decide you don’t like your potential flame, then you can walk away at the end of the night – no harm, no foul.

This column was originally published in MX News on Friday 5 February 2010.

How Long is a Piece of String?

Emma — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 19:22:59 +0000

A thought occurred to me last night – how long do y’all think a date night should go for? Is there a minimum length of time it has to be to be a “proper” date? And are there any “must-have” elements that should be included in a good date night?

I’m still trying to work out my own answers for all these questions, so your opinions would be appreciated…

Mystery Date Box Idea!

Emma — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 02:38:36 +0000

This great, inspirational dating idea was submitted by Kirsty, one of our users over at $30 Date Night – I thought we should share it with you here!

“Combine all your favourite date ideas and put them in a box! My partner and I have created the ‘Mystery Date Box’ – Each fortnight we pull one date idea out of the box and complete the date within the fortnight. The box is full of different ideas and whenever we think of a new idea, we add it to the box. It’s exciting, mysterious, thoughtful and fun!”

Brilliant! The analog version of our random date generator we have on $30 Date Night! I love the impulsiveness of it AND I especially love that these guys have a date night ritual every fortnight together.

If you like the sound of that, you know where to head for date idea inspiration. AND with our new account feature, you can get all high-tech about it and save your favorite ideas from our collection to your own private account for reference later.

Let us know if you have an awesome date ritual with your partner too!