You see, I hate financials. Most of my life, I’ve taken a head-in-the-sand approach to my money. I don’t pay attention to my bank balance, have been of the belief that saving is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer and have not exactly been stringent about paying my bills on time.

Funnily enough, I’m fantastic at spending money. If it were an Olympic sport, you would’ve seen me on a podium at Beijing for sure.

I’m also a little ashamed to admit that once Den and I became engaged, I happily relinquished all money matters over to him. Yep – I was one of those women that was just waiting for a man to take over for her.

What’s scary is that up to 50% of all divorce cases cite money issues as the deal-breaker. Most couples will argue about money at some stage and if it’s not dealt with, it can become a serious stressor on the relationship.

It’s not necessarily that these couples don’t have enough money, it’s different approaches to money that causes the problems.

For instance, I’m from the “money is for enjoying” school of thought. And I’m probably more extremist than most about it.

Den, meanwhile, is all about the very sensible “money is for security” philosophy.

(For all those playing at home, if neither of these sounds like you, there is a third category which is “money is for sharing” that you may fall into).

Unfortunately the reality of relationships means that you have to talk about money at some point, and maybe even come clean about your huge credit card debt or your secret shoe fetish.

Setting a budget as a couple and laying some ground rules for financial spending is mandatory. I also believe that having some personal play money – that the other partner can’t keep track of – is necessary.

For now, Den and I take a fairly separate approach to our finances. No joint account, no questions over spending – apart from the occasional, accusatory “Is that new?” from him when I sport a top he’s never seen… (“What, this old thing?”). But we are across what is going on financially for the other person and the communication helps.

But what makes him (and me) most comfortable now is knowing I’m putting money away and paying myself first, and I’m committed to keep saving and to maintain an active interest in our family finances.

It was about time I grew up. What about you?

Things have changed.

For one, I can’t rely on a regular paycheck anymore. When running your own business, payday could be anytime! But then maybe not again for months.

And what I’ve realised more than that, is that I hate asking my husband for money when I do need it. We don’t have a joint bank account. I don’t have access to his credit card (actually, we don’t even own a credit card) and while the business we run pays the bills, my own cash for playing needs to be generated elsewhere.

So this year, I’ve committed to paying myself first when I do get money, before I go and buy those new shoes or have a few cocktails with the girls. And it brings me immense peace of mind to have an (albeit tiny) sum of money I can draw on when I need it. I have pledged 25% of every paycheck at least to my savings fund. And it is there for my rainy day times.

I was delighted when I found Febusave. The ANZ Bank has been great for years about educating women on the matters of money and this new initiative is ingenious. The idea is that you use February to form good habits in relation to saving towards your goals.

Almost 10,000 women have pledged to give something up in February and save the money they would usually spend… things like coffee, chocolate, bought lunches or shoes are great things to relinquish in favour of having some extra cash in your bank account.

The website is full of amazing tips and expert advice from some of Australia’s most prominent women. This week, we’ll be posting articles here about money and relationships, how to save while still dating and more.

Are you a good saver? What could you give up for Febusave and what are you saving towards? A wedding? A romantic holiday? A house?

$30 Date Night is a proud blog ambassador for Febusave.