If you’re thinking of Alphabet Dating, now’s a great time to start. You can check back in every week to get ideas, or just head straight over to $30 Date Night and see what’s doing over there that interests you.

A is for African Cuisine
Find a local African cafe that serves traditional food, eaten with your hands in true African style.

A is for Acrobatics
Attend a local circus or tumbling course together and learn something new!

A is for Airport
Head to the viewing area of your local airport and watch the planes come in. Take a picnic with you to make it even more special!

A is for Apple Picking
If it’s apple season, find a pick-your-own orchard where you can spend an afternoon among the fruit trees. Take your spoils home and bake apple pie together afterwards.

A is for Art Gallery
Take your date to see an art exhibition or to a gallery opening!

A is for Arcade
Cash your $30 into coins and be big kids again at a video game arcade with your sweetheart for date night!

A is for Audience
Become part of the audience for a fun live TV show. Apply online – it’s usually free – and go see behind the scenes at a TV studio. If you go for a game show you may even win some money!

A is for Automobile
Take a cruise in your automobile with your sweetie by your side.

A is for getting Arty
This is a great at-home date if you can’t leave the house because you have children. Pick up some paper, professional graphite pencils and take a quick online tutorial on how to draw. Then have your partner pose for you while you sketch an arty image of them. Take turns posing! You may even convince them to let you practice your life drawing if you’re lucky!

Got any more dates beginning with A for us?

We went in expecting to be lectured at by a priest on the wrongs and rights of marriage (In fact, I was braced for a full, mandatory inflatable-pool Baptism into the Catholic religion, thinking these little weekends were merely a recruitment drive) but in fact, there was no religion mentioned even in passing and rather a lecture, we were encouraged to instead talk to each other, get to know each other a little more intimately and with intent and think about what issues may come up in the course of our future relationship.

Gottman’s Love Map Theory
One exercise was borne from Gottman’s Love Map theory. Your love map is the part of your brain where you store information about your partner’s dreams, goals, joys, fears, likes, dislikes, frustrations, and worries. Things like your husband’s favorite TV Show or your wife’s favourite leisure activities are significant “points” on the map.

Why are thorough love maps so important? Because they strengthen relationships. Couples with comprehensive love maps stay aware of their partner’s changing needs. They constantly seek updates on what the other person is doing, feeling, and thinking. Being understood in this way is a gift each partner gives the other, bringing great happiness and satisfaction. It also leaves couples better prepared to cope with stresses on their relationship.

For example, in one study Gottman interviewed couples around the time of the birth of their first child. For 67% of couples this stressful event was accompanied by a significant drop in marital satisfaction. But the other 33% did feel a drop in satisfaction; in fact many felt their marriages had gotten stronger. The difference was the completeness of the couples’ love maps. “The couples whose marriages thrived after the birth had detailed love maps from the get-go,” says Gottman. “These love maps protected their marriages in the wake of this dramatic upheaval.”

The point is also that couples goals, dreams and priorities change over time. If couples can make a continued effort to update their love maps of each other, they stand a much better chance of making it through the hard times together.

Getting to Know Your Partner
We were handed a lighthearted quiz to do at our couples weekend. Around 60 questions that could make up a love map, with different points weighted for each. We were to quiz each other and see how well we knew one another. Rather than getting angry that your sweetie was unaware of your favourite magazine, or social security number, it presents an opportunity for the two of you to bond further and get to know each other better.

Poor Den – I change my mind and my preferences at breakneck speed. My favourite colour, food, beverage and more could be completely different from one day to the next depending on my mood.

Luckily for me, he’s quite the creature of habit… like a slow-moving glacier. I’m pretty confident that what he likes now will not change by Friday. That said, I’m conscious that to keep our maps updated, we need to keep communicating on a deeper level than just “Can you hang out the washing?” and “Have you seen my socks anywhere?”

How to Play
This is a great activity for your next low-key date night. Over dinner, breakfast, coffee or baking, see how well you know each other and perhaps learn something new about your partner. Start by drafting 20 questions across the different love map categories that you can quiz each other on. Don’t get upset if your partner doesn’t know the answer… use it as an opportunity to get to know your partner’s current preferences. Here are the primary categories and some example questions you might like to ask:

Family – Who is my favourite relative? What was one of my best childhood experiences? My worst?

Friends – Name my two best friends. Name one of my major rivals/enemies. How did I meet my best friends? Who is my greatest source of support (besides you)?

Work – What is my dream job? What is one of my major career goals? What part of my job do I hate? Which of my colleagues do I like?

Hobbies – What is one of my favourite weekend activities? How do I let off steam? What’s my favourite sport?

Dreams – What are two of my aspirations, hopes, wishes? Do I have a secret ambition? What is it? What is my fondest unrealized dream? What do I fantasize about?

Favourites – What is my favourite book, movie, TV show, colour, flower, turn on? Which side of the bed do I prefer? What’s my favourite season? Where’s my favourite holiday destination?

Feelings – What medical problems do I worry about? What is one of my favourite ways to be soothed? What am I most sad about? What are some of the important events coming up in my life? How do I feel about them?

And so on.

Using the Information
As gather and store all these small details about your partner onto your love map, you can use the information to surprise and delight your sweetie in small ways.

For instance, awhile ago Den found out what one of my favourite comfort foods was from my childhood. He secretly contacted my mother for the recipe, went shopping for the ingredients and we made them together one night here at home.

You can buy your partner a bunch of their favourite flowers, pick up a copy of their favourite magazine or take them to their favourite restaurant for dinner… If your partner has always dreamed of writing a novel, or learning French, enroll them in a short course to help them realise their dreams.

The Kicker
All this will make you feel closer to your partner and your unexpected gifts will be a wonderful way to show you appreciate them, love them and that you’re thinking of them.

While we’re all still shaking off the winter blues, sometimes a great date can be spent as a night in. With chocolate. And cake. How can you go wrong? This particular date idea also gets “frugal” bonus points because it involves recycling old cake!

Around Sugadeaux HQ, it’s not unusual to have spare cupcakes sitting around waiting to be eaten, but sometimes there is just more than any one craving can handle. We use this recipe as a way of recycling those left over cupcakes, its a technique that has recently gained a huge amount of popularity thanks to Bakerella and her blog of extreme cuteness.

I call them cupcake truffles (they’re more commonly known as cake balls), and what they ARE is deliciously moist and creamy cake morsels dipped in chocolate. I have not known anyone who can stop at just one…

Since it’s unlikely you guys would bake a cake from scratch just to moosh it up in a blender, we’re using a recipe using boxed cake mix, but feel free to substitute your own favourite cake flavour and frosting (we only ever bake from scratch at Sugadeaux because it’s against our religion to use mixes).

CUPCAKE TRUFFLES

So you’re going to need:

1 x Box of your favourite cake mix
1 x Can of pre-made frosting
(or instead of these at least 6 whole cupcakes)
2 x 250g package of chocolate for dipping

Two blocks of the chocolate is a lot, but it takes a little while to get the art of the perfect dip, so you want plenty to practice with. I recommend basic cooking or compound chocolate from the supermarket for the easiest version, but if you want to use coverture you just need to remember to temper it or it won’t set.

Bake the cake as per the instructions and allow to cool. Break up into pieces and throw into a stand mixer (you can also just use elbow grease and a wooden spoon in a large bowl). I use the paddle beater on the mixer. Add in the can of frosting, and mix until combined. The mixture should be very moist but still keep shape when rolled into balls.

Using your hands, roll the mixture into balls slightly smaller than golf ball size and place them on a tray lined with greaseproof paper.

You can also experiment here and make teeny tiny balls which you could pop into your mouth in one go. Place the tray in the fridge for a few hours to allow the truffles to firm up… We recommend settling in to a Cake Night-themed movie together while you wait – Chocolat, Waitress, Like Water for Chocolate and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory all spring to mind…

Once ready, melt the chocolate over a double boiler on the stove (or use the cheats method of popping it in the microwave for 30s second increments, stirring in between until its melted). Use a fork or toothpick to help you dip (or chocolate dipping tools if you have them), then place the truffles back onto the sheet. Once the chocolate is set – COMMENCE EATING!!

You can get creative with dying white chocolate in a range of colours and drizzling them over the top to create interesting patterns, or use sprinkles on top before the chocolate sets.

Best part is, you’ll probably have some melted chocolate left over which can be used as body paint for a whole different kind of date!

I bought this game for Emma as a Christmas present in 2006… I had to discreetly hand it over to her at a family gathering – although Em’s mother was all over the smoke and mirrors and knew I was up to something something…

About Nookii
It’s a game of suggestion… with 3 types of cards involved:

mmm… ooh… aah… and progressively each card provides both you and your partner with a series of things to do to each other.

You’re provided with a timer and two dies that provide you with a length of time that you’ll be pleasuring your partner. The mmm cards start off with tame suggestions, light fluffy and fun. As you progress into the game the saucier the cards become – once you’ve made it to the ahh stage you’ll have hoped that the phones are turned off and the doors locked….

You can purchase it here and have it delivered to your door in a matter of days.

What do Strawberry and Champagne flavoured body dusts, edible massage souffles and a Lover’s Paintbox of Chocolate have in common? Well, they are all verrry classy, very adult bedroom play products from the divine range at Kama Sutra.

Far from seedy, the packaging and concept behind these lickable, kissable products will add a touch of grown-up fun to your usual romp!

Available to purchase from Kama Sutra online.

How about this? Just one night a week, once you’ve put the kids to bed, turn off the phones and the laptop and spend some time with your sweetie doing something novel and fun. There has never been a more important time for the two of you to cultivate your relationship and spend some one-on-one adult time together reconnecting. Try not to talk about the kids for a bit (as much as you love them, you will be better parents for having had a break in the adult world!) and spend some quality time together. It’s proven that doing new things together keeps you close to each other – bonded and happy.

Below are just A FEW of the ideas we have on our generator that can be done at home. If you’re working on a fortnightly date night (a lot of couples with kids just can’t manage once a week) then this is five months worth of dates for you! Right here!

Also, find another likeminded couple with children and trade off weekly so that you get a date night OUT every once in a while! You take their kids one week, they take yours the next…

My attempt at drawing Den

1. Get arty
Go to an art supply store and get professional graphite pencils, a big artist pad and maybe a “learn to draw” book (or jump online to find out for free). You’ll be surprised at how easy it can be! You may even convince your partner to pose for life drawing practice if you’re lucky. Check out our attempt here!

2. Theme your movie nights!
It’s important for you to do new things together, but they needn’t be huge sweeping gestures. Something as simple as theming your own little night for two will inject some novelty into your bog-standard DVD-and-dinner night:

• Italian Night: Make mini pizzas together, open a bottle of chianti, get some Tiramisu and pick up an Italian themed movie – Life is Beautiful, The Italian Job, The Talented Mr. Ripley or Roman Holiday are all excellent choices.
• Spanish/Mexican Night: Think Tacos or Paella on the menu, a pitcher of Sangria to wash it down and movies like Y Tu Mama Tambien, Like Water for Hot Chocolate, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Motorcycle Diaries, Vicky Cristina Barcelona to transport you to exotic places.
• Japanese Night: Make sushi or udon noodle soup together and rent out Lost in Translation, Memoirs of a Geisha and snuggle on the couch with a box of Pocky to watch.

3. Play Strip Chess
Chess, sexy? Absolutely! Here are the rules: for every piece you capture that isn’t a pawn, your opponent must remove an item of clothing. It changes the whole strategy of the game! Dim the lights, put on some hot music and go for checkmate!

4. Have a floor picnic
Go to the deli and stock up on some picnic essentials – antipasto, cheeses, frittata, arancini and have your own little private picnic together in the comfort of your home. The grass in the backyard or even the lounge room floor are perfect – pop down a rug, kick off your shoes and pop open a bottle of wine.

Kikki-k’s Love Conversation Starters

5. Love Conversation Starters from Kikki.K
Run out of things to talk about that don’t involve the children?These great Love Conversation Starters from Kikki-k will revitalize your chats with your partner. Crack open a bottle of wine and settle in on the couch together to ask the hard questions – from your first heartbreak to a walk down memory lane with your sweetie, it will spark long-forgotten memories and warm fuzzy feelings.

6. Have a candlelight dinner.
Treat your honey to a full three course meal extravaganza – and be sure to milk all the brownie points you can get with a homemade dessert! Light the candles, put on some romantic music and enjoy a restaurant-quality meal for two in peace and quiet… all the little things will make this one special… a clean house, no TV, garnish on the food, wiping the spots off the plates once you’ve served it up… and be sure to put in a little effort on your own appearance too!

7. Have your partner teach you something new
Almost as good as learning something new together is having your partner teach you something fun that you never knew how to do!

• Be grease monkeys for the night! Strap on some overalls and have your man teach you how to change the oil, check the transmission and change a tyre on your car.
• Learn to play a song. Assuming your partner is musical, have them teach you how to play a song on the guitar, piano, etc.
• Learn to play the Nintendo. I hate these things, personally, but if your partner can be patient with you, then take an interest in what they’re doing and learn to play a computer game with them .
• Knitting, crocheting, baking a cake, dancing, photography, language… the possibilities are endless!

Just remember, both of you, to not take it too seriously! And keep it basic, so you can enjoy each other’s company at the same time.

8. Pamper your sweetie
God knows they deserve it – quiet time, no children calling out… turn the house into a mini day spa and pamper each other senseless. Facials, manicures, massages, body scrubs. Stock up on some great products with your $30 budget, pop on soothing whale noises, light some aromatherapy candles. The internet has loads of information on how to give great home treatments – so much more cost effective and intimate for you both.

9. Take a bath together
When was the last time you relaxed in the tub together? Champagne, bubbles, romantic music, rose petals, candles. If you don’t take the time to create some romance in your life, it’s never going to happen. Toss all the foam toys and rubber duckies somewhere you can’t see them and reclaim some you time in your own house. We love Lush for great bath products to get you going.

10. Get cheeky and spoil your partner with a striptease!
Go on… it’s a little risqué, but if the kids do wake up and catch you with a feather boa and fishnets, just tell them you’re playing dress ups and you’re a Pussycat Doll! Or position your sweetie in the bedroom where the kidlets are hard-pressed to interrupt. The pop on a bit of Joe Cocker and strut your stuff. Need inspiration?

See $30 Date Night for plenty more ideas that can be achieved, sans kidlets!

Well, there’s one way to make your night a little bit more interesting! Theme it. A good theme can bring any dreary event to life, even if it is just dinner and a movie!

I went with Italian night and arrived home with all the ingredients for THREE KINDS (that’s right, knock yourself out kiddies) of homemade mini pizzas, Life is Beautiful (La Vita e Bella) on DVD and plans to get out for a brisk walk to buy some gourmet gelato down the road.

It was exactly what we needed. I forced my workaholic fiancée to shut down his laptop for the entire night (people, the key to having date night at home is to behave as if you’re out – no work, no computer, no mobile phone if you can help it!) and we fooled around in the kitchen making pizzas together, feasted on them, then rugged up (Melbourne is still freezing despite promises of winter being over!) and took a nice 30 minute round trip to go get some gelato.

We were chatting non-stop the entire time, which is always the sign of a successful date night idea. The brain chemistry that is sparked off by doing something novel and fun is immediately obvious to me in the manner we have with each other on date night – it’s a completely different rapport to what we have together any other time in the week, and I am fast becoming addicted to it. If we miss a week and don’t get our night together then I start to get antsy.

Once we got back, we pushed the two couches together (yep, we were going all out – just like those little old couples that push their single beds together for the nights they want to get frisky!) and settled into the movie. This is a movie that needs to be watched in Italian with the subtitles running – if you watch the English dubbed version, I will hunt you down and shoot you myself.

We laughed, we cried a little (touching movie), we snuggled a lot. A thoroughly enjoyable, low-key date night.

Some other ideas in the same thread:

Indian Date Night – make up a pot of Chicken Tikka Masala, get some pappadums and mango lassi and hire a Bollywood movie to watch together.

Japanese Date Night – try making sushi if you’re adventurous, or otherwise buy the sushi in and try your hand at a healthy Udon Soup. Get some Pocky or other fun candy for dessert and kick back to watch Lost in Translation or Memoirs of a Geisha together.

Mexican/Spanish Date Night – Think a pitcher of sangria or margarita, Paella (or maybe tacos) and a great Spanish film like Y Tu Mama Tambien or Like Water for Hot Chocolate.

Although according to our ‘Rate the Date’ function on ThirtyDollarDateNight.com, while Italian, Indian and Japanese themed nights are all the rage, no one really likes the Mexican themed night. What’s up with that?

Drawing by Den

It’s wed night, date night… in usual fashion I’ve left it to the last minute. I jump on the $30 Date Night site and start clicking madly through the date suggestions when I stumble upon “paint a portrait of each other – Submitted by Ming from Melbourne.” Perfect, this is tonight’s date, thanks Ming!

I walked into an art supply store and the assistant says “Can I help you?” For those that dont know, I hate being harassed by sales assistants. I paused, and thought… oh fuck it… “ya, maybe you can help me out… it’s $30 date night” The sales assistant seemed all confused, looking at me like, hmmm freak!

Happy Emma!

Drawn by Den

I explained the theory to it… “each week my fiancé and I take it in turns in blowing $30 on an experience we can do together. There’s a website, $30 Date Night, that gives you date ideas you can do with your partner that cost $30 or less. And I’ve chosen the ‘paint a portrait’ date. So I’ve got $30 in back burner and I’m prepared to blow the lot!” She gave me a smile, this cheeky smile, a kind of “nice one bruv” expression, who knows, maybe that was the reaction I was fishing for… both ways, the smile erased the ‘he’s a freak’ look off her face.

$30 got me heaps of goodies… a few graphite pencils in a number of shades, A2 translucent paper (huge paper) a sharpie, eraser… blah… blah… blah…

Drawing by Emma

Drawing was great fun! Both Emma and I have never drawn before, well not since 8th grade school (junior high).

At first I had reservations about doing this date… I hate doing things that I’m no good at. But as it goes the best date nights are the fresh ones, the ones that push comfort circles… its gotta be new experiences.

Lately I’ve sucked at our Wed night thing… so Emma wasn’t expecting much. I did a quick sweep of the house to make it a little more comfortable and after dinner whipped out the art supplies (only after stringing Emma along with how badly planned tonight’s experience was and how much she wasn’t going to enjoy it.

Emma was a little unsure to start with – I decided to start the night off with the first drawing. The beautiful stick figure (above), I think it really captured Emma’s best features!

Drawing by Emma

Em’s, still unsure, jumped on the net for some inspiration on how to draw, and came out with a handy tip… draw negative space first. “what the fuck is negative space???” She explained to me that you start drawing the space around the image to help with proportion. In our drawings, we started with the couch and cushions.

I recommend trying this date… we had fun with.

Once again thanks for the date tip Ming. Ming has added so many dates to $30 date night, Emma and I are a big fan of your date tips. And we’ll eventually get through them. Hopefully you’re inspired to add your own date idea on the generator. Click here to add your own date.